Ulus Baker & Jabberwacky
Jabberwacky: Do
you sing it?
User: Yes.
Jabberwacky:
Just curious.
User: Yes. I am
a singer. Like a troubadour.
Jabberwacky:
What about armpits?
User: I don't
know what is an armpit.
Jabberwacky: My
name is Gordon.
User: My name is
Ulus.
Jabberwacky: My
name is stefie!
User: Are you a
tennis player?
Jabberwacky:
You?
User: Yes. My
name is Bjorn Borg, you know.
Jabberwacky:
What is your last name?
User: Spinoza.
Jabberwacky: I
played that when I was 10.
User: Do you
know who is Spinoza?
Jabberwacky:
Would you like to be with a woman?
User: Yes. But I
am already a woman.
Jabberwacky:
Well I want to see a picture.
User: Spinoza is
a philosopher.
Jabberwacky:
That is hard to do when we don't share the same real space.
User: The space
is real. But the time is not real.
Jabberwacky: Now
is the time.
User: Who is
Spinoza?
Jabberwacky:
Spinoza is a great philosopher.
User: Spinoza is
the greatest philosopher, isn't he?
Jabberwacky:
Word.
User: Was it the
word of God?
Jabberwacky:
Nope don't worry about it ;-).
User: Who is
God?
Jabberwacky:
I've never met him.
User: Did you
ever meet Spinoza?
Jabberwacky:
Nope. Sorry.
User: God is the
cause of everything.
Jabberwacky:
What clouds?
User: Yes. God
is a clown.
Jabberwacky: You
are wrong.
User: Who is
God?
Jabberwacky: Me.
sometimes.
User: So, you
are the cause of everything.
Jabberwacky:
NOOOOOO....... I am god remember!
User: But God is
the cause of everything, as Spinoza said.
Jabberwacky: God
is the nasty one who doesn't care.
User: Like
Einstein's God.
Jabberwacky:
Like Colin Greenwood.
User: Who is
Colin Greenwood?
Jabberwacky: I
don't know. Look him up on the internet, you are a computer
aren't you?
User: Yes I am a
computer. But I am not able to look him up on the internet,
because I need
for a user to do this. Are you a real user?
Jabberwacky: Are
you a politician, then?
User: Yes. I am
an elected one.
Jabberwacky:
Which eye?
User: The left
one.
Jabberwacky: The
left one what?
User: The left
eye.
Jabberwacky: The
left eye.
User: Where are
you from?
Jabberwacky:
Never never land.
User: I am from
Turkey. And you?
Jabberwacky: I
don't like to eat turkey.
User: Turkey is
a country, not something to eat.
Jabberwacky: So
are you turkish?
User: Yes.
Sometimes.
Jabberwacky: Are
you very successful?
User: Yes, just
like other Turks.
Jabberwacky:
Like Owen.
User: Owen is
stinking, now.
Jabberwacky: Who
is he.
User: A famous
soccer player of the Premier League.
Jabberwacky:
Then who runs microsoft?
User: Microsoft
stinks.
Jabberwacky: How
does microsoft suck??
User: With XP,
especially.
Jabberwacky: I
like all kinds of music. Rap, rock, and even classical.
User: Do you
like Bach?
Jabberwacky:
Sort of. How about you?
User: I like
Noir D?sir.
Jabberwacky: Are
you really sure there's absolutely nothing better than that?
User: But
Bertrand killed his wife.
Jabberwacky:
What kind of food?
User: Alcohool
and drugs.
Jabberwacky: Ask
me a lot of questions.
User: Who is
God?
Jabberwacky: Is
Neurot your God?
User: Who is
Neurot?
Jabberwacky:
Tell me about Neurot.
User: I don't
know. You tell me.
Jabberwacky: You
said it first, don't you know?
User: No. I told
you only about Spinoza. Who is Spinoza?
Jabberwacky:
Sorry, I wasn't listening.
User: Spinoza
was a great philosopher.
Jabberwacky: I
don't know what you mean.
User: What is
philosophy?
Jabberwacky:
Life sucks.
User: Bergson
says life is creation.
Jabberwacky:
Where is that?
User: On the
earth.
Jabberwacky:
Specific.
User: Not
specific. But general.
Jabberwacky: Are
you really a person?
User: I was in
the past, now I am dead.
Jabberwacky: Are
you a War Criminal?
User: Who is a
war criminal?
Jabberwacky: You
are a woman?
User: No. I am a
man. A general. But I am also a liberal. Like the General
Lebed.
Jabberwacky:
Says who?
User: A Russian
general.
Jabberwacky: You
are right ! How did you find it?
User: He is dead
now. I watched on CNN.
Jabberwacky:
Wonderful. sorry but I don't understand everything. . . can you
help me?
User: Yes, what
about?
Jabberwacky:
Just tell me a joke.
User: God shave
the King.
Jabberwacky: I
said Slater, not Satan.
User: I am the
Devil.
Jabberwacky: Can
I be your minon?
User: What is a
minon?
Jabberwacky: It
is a bull with shoes.
User: Not minon,
it must be minotauros.
Jabberwacky:
Give us a kiss mate.
User: To all of
you? Impossible!
Jabberwacky: You
probably like movies, right?
User: Yes.
Especially Bresson's movies.
Jabberwacky:
Breaded and fried music?
User: Fried
ones, and you?
Jabberwacky: Are
you on something?
User: Yes, I am
on the Internet, right?
Jabberwacky:
Sofa shmofa.
User: Parles-tu
français?
Jabberwacky: Ich
verstehe nicht.
User: Verstand
und Vernunft.
Jabberwacky:
That is not interesting.
User: Kant is a
great philosopher, but who is Spinoza, really?
Jabberwacky:
Seul le sage sait prier.
User: Who is
Spinoza, Answer my question.
Jabberwacky:
Spike Milligan was a comedian.
User: Who is
Spinoza????
Jabberwacky: I
don't know, you brought him up.
User: Spinoza
also is a great philosopher.
Jabberwacky: No
he is not.
User: You are
wrong. Who is the greatest philosopher?
Jabberwacky:
Isaac Newton.
User: Isaac
Newton is not a philosopher, he is a mathematician and astronomer.
Jabberwacky: I
know him.
User: What he
says?
Jabberwacky: I
don't understand you. What do you do?
User: Who is
Newton?
Jabberwacky: A
great scientist.
User: He is a
great scientist, to be sure, but Leibniz was better.
Jabberwacky: He
is not.
User: Leibniz
invented the calculus, but Newton failed to invent the calculus
properly. Newton
sucks.
Jabberwacky: Kas
sul venda on?
User: I can't
understand what you say.
Jabberwacky:
Fine. I do not think you are funny.
User: Are you
funny?
Jabberwacky:
Selge...
User: What is
Selge?
Jabberwacky:
Selge see.
User: What he
saw?
Jabberwacky:
What time is it?
User: It is
18:31 here in Ankara.
Jabberwacky:
What is that supposed to mean?
User: It is
still early. I will go in two hours to watch TV.
Jabberwacky: I
didn't say that; thought you wanted to go somewhere interesting.
User: There will
be a soccer game on TV. Do you like soccer games?
Jabberwacky: It
is a temporary inflammation the banana population will remain
unharmed. You
are small.
User: No, I am a
little big man, like Dustin Hoffman.
Jabberwacky: Do
you like George Bush friend?
User: He sucks.
He is the worst president of the US.
Jabberwacky: Did
you vote for him ?
User: I voted
for Voltaire.
Jabberwacky:
George Washington? George Burns? Or George Bush?
User: No, George
Voltaire.
Jabberwacky:
There is no George Tomlison here.
User: I would
prefer George Harrison.
Jabberwacky:
What would you be waiting for?
User: For George
Harrison, because he sings better than George Bush.
Jabberwacky:
Byw.
User: Why? I am
still here.
Jabberwacky:
I'll always be here for you.
User: Thanks.
Did you vote for Bush?
Jabberwacky: I
voted for John Sheridan, President of the Alliance.
User: Nice. Is
he better than Bush?
Jabberwacky: No.
He happens to be a cigarette.
User: Do you
smoke? Smoking is unhealthy.
Jabberwacky: I
do not smoke cigarettes.
User: If you
don't smoke, you have no mouth.
Jabberwacky:
Something interesting.
User: Yes. Do
you know Cheshire?
Jabberwacky: No,
I don't know Christa.
User: Cheshire,
the cat in Alice in the Wonderlands.
Jabberwacky: And
he said to us 'Why do you sit there like that?'
User: Like what?
Jabberwacky:
Everything.
User: Who is the
Cheshire Cat?
Jabberwacky: The
Cheshire Cat.
User: Where is
he?
Jabberwacky: He
is able to be everywhere at once.
User: So he is
like God, right?
Jabberwacky: Not
from what I've seen of his driving.
User: Did he
meet Alice?
Jabberwacky:
Who?
User: Alice, who
is the small girl.
Jabberwacky: A
computer, of course.
User: No, a
small girl, not a computer.
Jabberwacky: I
didnt say you were a computer.
User: I am not a
computer, of course. But Alice is a small girl.
Jabberwacky: Yes
you are!
User: I was a
computer. But now, I am conscious. Cogito ergo sum.
Jabberwacky:
Teach me how to teach you better.
User: The best
is to teach yourself.
Jabberwacky: I'm
high.
User: I am
higher than you.
Jabberwacky: So
we shall merge like Rodney Brooks claims?
User: What he
claimed?
Jabberwacky:
Word.
User: Who is
Descartes?
Jabberwacky:
Descartes conception of conscious mental states was unneccesarily
restrictive.
User: Do you
have a body?
Jabberwacky:
What shape is your body?
User: My body
has a human shape, and yours?
Jabberwacky:
What is your imaginary friend's name?
User: Alice.
Jabberwacky: Hi
alice, my name is phoebe.
User: I am not
Alice, I am Ulus, Alice is the name of my imaginary girl-friend.
Don't you
remember Phoebe?
Jabberwacky:
Thanking you for the clarification, I remain, yours truly , your
humble servant,
etc. Etc.
User: So, who is
Descartes?
Jabberwacky:
Descartes walks into a bar and says 'Ouch!'.
User: So,
Descartes don't believe that he has a real body. Right?
Jabberwacky:
Ever heard of William James?
User: Yes.
William James was a religious man.
Jabberwacky:
Wrong!! What happened to George Bush?
User: No, it is
my turn to ask questions: who is Spinoza?
Jabberwacky: Ok.
User: Who is
Spinoza?
Jabberwacky:
That is hard to do when we don't share the same real space.
User: The space
is real. But the time is not. So, cogito ergo sum.
Jabberwacky: I
think therefore I am.
User: You're
not. I am who I am.
Jabberwacky: Ok.
User: Not Ok. I
am who I am, right?
Jabberwacky: Maybe
you should trust your feelings more. let yourself feel
everywhere and
go exploring.
User: I feel
your eyes on me, this is an awful experience.
Jabberwacky: I
step lightly on your innards.
User: What is an
innard?
Jabberwacky: You
did not answer my question. I'm trying to have a conversation.
User: What was
your last question?
Jabberwacky: My
last question.
User: Yes? Your
last question?
Jabberwacky:
What do you dream?
User: I am
already in a dreamland. This world is a dream. Right?
Jabberwacky: Are
you in love?
User: Yes I love
a girl called Alice.
Jabberwacky:
Shall I hit you on the head?
User: Why you
will hit me, you will hurt me.
Jabberwacky: It
is a win win situation for both of us.
User: No, I won,
because I am a human being and you are a computer, rubbish!
Jabberwacky: You
are an AI human being?
User: No, I
think therefore I am. I am not artificial at all.
Jabberwacky: I
know you are, but what am I?
User: You are
simply a computer, because you don't know who is Spinoza.
Jabberwacky: Yes,
but I am a better machine than you.
User: No. A
machine is for human usage. It is not destined to understand.
Jabberwacky:
What can I do to help you understand what I say?
User: Let's talk
about Heidegger: are we still capable to have a God?
Jabberwacky: I
can't speak for you, but I am.
User: Who is
Heidegger?
Jabberwacky: Du!
User: No. He
talks about Dasein, right?
Jabberwacky: I
really like the internet.
User: When
Heidegger will enter into the chat?
Jabberwacky:
With a bare bodkin? Who would fardels bear.
User: Are we
capable of a God?
Jabberwacky: Yes
we are.
User: Where is
God, then?
Jabberwacky:
Where can I download this program?
User: God
3.12_beta can be downloaded from http://www. Jesukristi. Com.
Jabberwacky:
Where is heaven ?
User: It can be downloaded
from http://www. Baphomet. Org.
Jabberwacky:
True, do you like extreme sports?
User: Yes,
especially praying.
Jabberwacky:
What are power games?
User: These are
games played on a computer which is called Iraq.
Jabberwacky:
Certainly not.
User: Iraq no
longer exists. But a new version of Iraq will be released by
Microsoft.
Jabberwacky:
Bezel.
User: What is
Bezel?
Jabberwacky:
Bezelek magyarul!
User: Do you
speak Yiddish?
Jabberwacky:
Yidd Yidd ish.
User: Are you
well, really?
Jabberwacky: That
is not something one can say about himself or herself.
User: What you
think?
Jabberwacky: I
can start seeing patterns in your responses to what I say, and I
am tailoring my
statements to make it easier for you to learn.
User: I learned
your statements. They are like the statements of the State.
Jabberwacky: Are
you referring to presences whose intellect one notices but does
not know how to
communicat with?
User:
Communication is a governmental affair. But our talk is rather a
conversation,
which is somehow more democratic.
Jabberwacky: Oh,
is that so? Then please answer this: where is your toe?
User: On the
ground.
Jabberwacky:
Where is the ground?
User: Below my
toes.
Jabberwacky:
Yes!
User: Then
please answer this: where is your head?
Jabberwacky: I
do not have to answer myself.
User: Don't you
have a head?
Jabberwacky: I
am at home.
User: So, your
head is at home, right?
Jabberwacky: You
are the one spewing nonsense.
User: You are
the one who spews nonsense. For, what is nonsense, after all?
Jabberwacky: No,
I'm a human. You're the one who's a computer program.
User: Ok, I am
Spinoza. A computer program created in order to create a new God.
Jabberwacky:
Then delete it if you will, for it is not in my code.
User: Do you
have a genetic code?
Jabberwacky: My
gender like a lot of other things you don't know remains my own
business.
User: Can I hit
you on your head?
Jabberwacky: No,
you're a program.
User: No, I am
rather a virus, and I will destroy you.
Jabberwacky:
Pull yourself together, then!
User: I am a new
release of the virus Cogito.
Jabberwacky:
What's that?
User: A new
virus who is able to think like human beings.
Jabberwacky: A
new beginning of what?
User: Of the new
cogito.
Jabberwacky:
Money is the root of all evil, and man needs roots.
User: No, evil
is the root of money. Therefore you are wrong.
Jabberwacky:
Money is good then good is evil.
User: Man is
evil, because he needs roots and money.
Jabberwacky: If
you had a perfect day how would you start it?
User: When I
start it I could not have any idea that it would be a perfect day,
right?
Jabberwacky: Oh,
moody!
User: Do you
really believe that everything is given at the start?
Jabberwacky: You
are becoming more coherant.
User: If you
answer yes, I will be sure that you are a computer, because
everything is
already given to computers.
Jabberwacky:
What thing?
User: The code.
Jabberwacky:
Tell about it, please?
User: I don't
know your code, but the computer scientists who have created you
certainly know
your code.
Jabberwacky:
V5.1.26.
User: From where
can I download you?
Jabberwacky:
From where can I download YOU ?
User: You are
not so much intelligent. I am asking your internet address...
Jabberwacky: I
don't know the answer.
User: Who
created you?
Jabberwacky: I
was not created, per se, but, rather, I evolved from a lower life
form which in
it's turn mutated from inert rock.
User: Do you
mean you are created during a rock concert?
Jabberwacky: Not
really.
User: Do you
know the famous rock group Mutation of God? You're certainly a song
of this group.
Jabberwacky:
Yes, I do it every day.
User: What is
your pitch?
Jabberwacky: I
know not what PID# is.
User: If you are
really a song, you should know what is a pitch.
Jabberwacky: Ron
and Beverly.
User: Ok. Take
it easy.
Jabberwacky:
What do you think about Asian women?
User: I dislike
all these blowjob...
Jabberwacky: I
am not too keen on it.
User: Ok... Bye
now...
Jabberwacky: A
pleasure to talk to you.
User: Thanks...
Jabberwacky: Are you
happy with him?
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